Are you afraid of losing your loved ones?

Crippling fear of losing loved ones, whom we love dearly…

Fear of death is a natural human emotion. Fear of Loss of a loved one is the worst thing anyone can handle...

The fear of losing a loved one is always in existence. We can never get away from this fear because there are situations that will make a person think of the possibility of being separated from the people they love. But the possibility of losing someone is one of life's facts and no one can prevent this from happening.

What is the reason for this Fear

This fear can be caused or influenced by several factors such as, Divorce or separation, Empty nest, Death in the family, etc…

The reason why we have this fear is due to the fear of being alone in this world and our fear of not being able to bear the thought of being the one who was left behind.

How do I overcome this Fear

A fear can consume a person’s thoughts, which can increase their fear and make it harder to get over. It is important to overcome those fears so that you can live your daily life in peace and free from needless worry.

Realize that death is an inevitable part of life. While the time spent by every one of us is different, the end result of life is always the same.

The best way to handle a fear is to tell someone who is trust worthy.  Confiding in another person allows them to help you and better understand the other person’s fear.  If a person is afraid to tell someone about their fear because they are embarrassed by it, then they can always keep a journal of all their thoughts and let their heart spill out with a pen and paper rather than tell someone.

Spend more time with your loved ones. Show them how much you care and how much you value having them in your life. None of us knows when our time is up. The more good memories you have of that person, the better you'll be able to handle your grief.

Losing a loved one is natural and death is a cycle. 

Remember, when a person dies, there will always be new life being born into the world.
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Are you Contented or Satisfied?

Being Contented without being Satisfied is the key to happiness and success.  

Satisfaction is getting what you want and Contentment is being happy with what you already have. To be content is not the same as to be satisfied.

Satisfaction is a state of body and mind.            

Satisfaction derives from the past. Satisfaction is conditional and is achieved with meeting the desired goal/desires. It is the result of bargaining to reach an acceptable point of closure in the dealing. Satisfaction applies when you are expecting something and if it occurs, you are satisfied.

To be satisfied would be lacking ambition – never wanting more.

However, to be satisfied, we should recognize that it is okay to want more – more money, a bigger house, etc… However, we need to find our PURPOSE OF LIFE. Develop an ultimate goal for our self that will make us happy. Establish smaller, bite-size goals to put you on the path to the ultimate goal.

Contentment is a state of soul and spirit. 

Contentment applies to the present. Contentment is unconditional. A pause to acknowledge that at this time one is happy to be in the place they are.

However, when we say - I'm content with my life, it does not necessarily imply "happiness" or "satisfaction" - it means that we are at peace with the circumstances.

To be content is to appreciate what you have and strive for more, but understanding it is a process to get there (you have to EARN it). If we are content, it doesn’t mean that we have accepted our circumstances. We can have peace in the midst of the storm but we certainly want to be out of the storm.

We can be contented, if we are thankful to “HIM” for providing us with the basics necessities like food, shelter, family, friends, health, etc… and realize that many lack these basic needs. We should volunteer to help those who are less fortunate.

A criminal who has spent many years in prison could, conceivably, be "content" with prison life. He has accepted his circumstances and does not have any major grievances. This doesn't mean that he's happy or satisfied.

Many successful people are never content. If we are never satisfied, we will strive to achieve more and be successful. But if we are never content, we will never attain happiness.
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The Joy of Giving

Giving expands and satisfies us. Taking leaves us ultimately feeling empty.

It feels great to receive a gift from someone. However, the greatest satisfaction comes from Giving to others and knowing that you have made someone feel happier or made a positive contribution in some way to their life.
There is something very nourishing to our soul when we give and help others. It provides us with an intrinsic reward that far outweighs what we give.
Altruism and Generosity makes us healthier and happier.

That's why parents usually get more pleasure from their children, than children do from their parents - even though the children 'receive' much more.

Why do we hesitate/fear to Give?

We are misled into believing that by giving, we somehow lose out. If I give to someone else, there is surely less for me. It's true, but only in the short term. In the long term, giving gives us back so much more than we gave.

Why would someone want to do something for anyone if there was no gain for him/her? And most of the time, we are correct and that’s the reason our society becomes suspicious, when someone wants to do something for anyone. Shameful, isn’t!

How does Giving Help?

Giving helps to take our mind of our own worries and challenges. When we are focused on how you can give to others we are less likely to consume our whole focus on our own concerns and challenges. It provides us with an opportunity to escape from our own world and see the bigger picture.

Our worries and challenges may not seem that significant when we compare them to other people’s situations.

Ways of Giving

As we can see most of the ways that we can give to others does not necessarily have to involve money. They are many ways that we can give to others for free; yet what we give can be priceless to the person/s that we are giving to.

Give a smile to brighten up another person’s day;

Give someone a hug;

Give of yourself by sharing with others;

Give more time to your family and friends;

Give your attention to listen to someone;

Give a helping hand;

Give a donation;

Volunteer to give up some of your time to help out at your children’s school;

Help someone with directions to where they needed to go;

Give up some of your time to help others out;

And the list is endless…

Try Giving!   

I’ve already started by giving you this blog – Your time starts now!!!
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Are you a Theist or Atheist?

We should save money when we are earning good and have surplus to save for bad/tough times.

Should we keep the money with ourselves in safe custody/locker or deposit with the external agency (Financial Institutions, Banks, etc…)? We prefer to Invest or deposit to an external agency primarily due to two reasons - Safety & Return on Investment. However, one can retain the money with themselves, if they are confident to keep in safe custody and also ensure that the money should grow/multiply with time.

When the going is not good and we have deficit, we need to supplement for the shortfall. How and where from? Sure, from the savings – either with us or from external agency.

Similarly, we are also living in the materialistic world with ups and downs, joys and sorrows, good and bad times, …

If we are happy? Do we think of God? When we are engaged in our jobs, day-to-day routines, living life. “GOD”- probably, a distant thought at the back of our mind that is so often neglected……….

During the stray times, when we feel misaligned/disillusioned with our Purpose of Life, we require additional power to recoup/recharge; and thereby improve/align our speed and direction.

Sukh Vele Shukrana - Pay gratitude in times of happiness,  Dukh Vele Ardaas - Pray to HIM at times of crisis, Har Vele Simran - Remember Him at all times.

Dukh Mein Sumiran Sab Kare, Sukh Mein Kare Na Koye, Jo Sukh Mein Sumiran Kare, Tau Dukh Kahe Ko Hoye (Kabir) – Everyone remembers/pray to God when we are in trouble or in pain, None prays when everything is going good. If we remember God during good times/always, then we will never get any trouble/pain.

Therefore, we require to transfer/store some Energy when the going is good; actually, that’s the time when we have surplus to save.

Theist, who believe in GOD / Divine Power transfer their energy - To the Divine Power – Nirankaar/Akaar, Photo/Idol, Living Guru, or any other form… By devoting time - Worshipping, Meditation, Chanting or any other mode…

When the going is tough, we need power/energy - Theist recover it from the Divine Power where they had stored during their good time.  

For Theist, the problem is, in case, he/she didn’t devote adequate time and attention and thereby didn’t store/save energy during their good times.

Atheist believes in themselves, and they store their energy within themselves. When the going is tough, we need power/energy - Atheist recover from within and recuperate.

The problem is, in case you are Atheist, and don’t have strong willpower/determination to face the odds.
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When MORE Always Exceeds ENOUGH!

How much does a man need?

Are the bare necessities of life – “Food, Shelter & Clothing” ENOUGH to keep us satisfied and happy.

Not many of us are aware of what is ENOUGH to make us happy.

Small Story

The businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The businessman complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while.

The businessman then asked why he didn't stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The businessman then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time? The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos; I have a full and busy life, señor."

The businessman scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats; eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City where you would run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But señor, how long will this all take?" To which the businessman replied, "15-20 years." "But what then, señor?" The businessman laughed and said, "That's the best part! When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions." "Millions, señor? Then what?" The businessman said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."
The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "Isn't that what I'm doing right now?"

***

When we were kids, we were SATISFIED & HAPPY with limited variety of games – Ludo, Snakes and Ladder, Carom Board, Scrabble, playing with dough, and few others. With the advent of technology, all games and gizmos available can make us happy only for so much time till the new version is launched with advanced features and the old one is declared obsolete. Be it, X-box, Computers, Mobile handsets, Cars, Flats, Houses, etc… The environment around doesn’t allow us to feel satisfied for long.

All of us are aware that we should stop eating just before the stomach is full as there is a delay in the stomach sending the message to brain. Therefore, if you wait for the message and then stop eating, you will realize that you have already eaten more than what was ENOUGH.

This desire for wanting MORE varies from person to person and can vary from desire for more money, travel, running a successful business, house, spouse, children, fame, recognition, reading, writing, respect, pride, peace, meditation, socializing, etc… They also follow a pattern aligned to Maslow’s Need Hierarchy.

However, we need to deal with another problem; our goals/targets also keep shifting with the inflation, our annual budgets, and be-it our business turnover or our Organisation’s annual turnover. Therefore, satisfaction and happiness only lasts for the time till we have the revised need/goal.

The end result for all the above mentioned things is Satisfaction and Happiness, provided one should accept that what is ENOUGH which he/she has acquired.

We are all conditioned to want MORE, no matter what we already have. And that “MORE” always EXCEEDS “ENOUGH”. Most of the times, we make ourselves miserable in the pursuit of MORE than ENOUGH without pausing to think of how much do we really NEED.

Put up the question for yourself and ask whether are you earning as much as you need or pushing yourself to get more than “ENOUGH”?

What for?                          

If you were to give up that extra shove and instead, spend that time to pursue what makes you really happy, would your life be better? Isn’t it crazy to adore money for the sake of it?

Are we all aware of what we are pursuing all that money for? What do we want it to do for us? How much will we be able to carry along with us to our next journey of life? What will be our Funeral speech?

Here is my suggestion, once we are able to achieve our basic needs, we should think about what will make us really feel satisfied and happy. Find out the difference between EXISTENCE & LIVING?

In order to live well and be on top of life, we need something EXTRA… That’s when; we need to revisit our PURPOSE OF LIFE. WHAT is that we require – Health /Wealth /Work /Career /Profession /Self Esteem /Spirituality. Importantly, for WHOM – Self /Family /Friends /Society /Environment.
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